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beerland, TX

20-Eyed Dragon photo by WWAD

SPOON
Feature by Trevor Wallace
Room 710
Beerland
EMO'S
RR 1st Anniversary
Elysium/Red Eyed Fly
Lance Comix
Know Your Bartender Lana/Deville
Rock 101 Metal Dave
Chopping Block
Wendy's WWAD
Grub - Guide
Alamo Drafthouse Cinema
Usual Crew
Chump Change
Off the Street
Off-Sides

 

Homewrecker/ 20-Eyed Dragon
Wednesday 2-18-04

Hot and kooky! 20-Eyed Dragon singer/guitarist Doe is one voluptuous green lady. Like the one on Star Trek? No, like the one on Lost In Space. Well it’s sort of greenish-silver, like a shimmering air-brush job over her already honkin’ rack. To top that, she has a HUGE dick - we’re talking foot-and-a-halfer, probably 8 inches around. She has the balls to go with it, you’d think, by the way she sings. Oh and that Habbib on the drums is pretty hot, too.
The songs were punk, and the lyrics didn’t matter, but probably meant more to her than they did to me. With the few words I could make out, I put together my own rape-revenge stories. This band is cool.

More hot! What do you get when you stick a 90-lb. chick between an 80-lb. chick and a big bald-headed bruiser called Houston? You get Homewrecker: radio-safe punk rock, love songs run amok – “What if I killed your boyfriend?” Simple and accessible, some of these numbers could almost make it on young country radio. EEK! Seems like this band is just starting to pursue their potential. They’d do well to further customize their songwriting to showcase the talent of those two teeny-but-tuff brunettes up front. Erica shreds flawless rhythm on her shiny red guitar, and she gets a nice metallic tone out of it. Then there’s our notorious Ronia. The moment I saw this hellion on stage at 710 in her black spike-heel shoes, I didn’t know what could be hotter. Now I do: Ronia in red spike-heel shoes – the kind with the ankle straps. Duuuude. Wendy says “What up, Pat Benatar!” I say bondage-era Madonna plus Betty Boop, with a voice on her that I can only compare to Ronnie of the Ronnettes (without the marshmallow). She knows her range and she’s never off-key. Someone needs to grab this girl and do something with her. I mean make something out of her. Good thing I got all those money-fisted music industry ho-dads lined up to act upon my whims.
--Bek Sabbath

The Bulemics photo by larry stern

Pink Swords photo by larry sternPink Swords / The Bulemics

The semi-comic relief over, it was time to give it up to the PiNK SWORdS. Ever-evolving, these guys have hit a deeper groove where music and performance melts together. The change in tempo within some of their songs give off a vibe of the natural, the real – all with a compelling blood-and-piss-stained attitude that drives some to throw ice cubes down the band members’ pants, while others “almost felt like crying”. Yes, it is a great power to trigger mass insanity.
And speaking of insanity… The Bulemics played next. I say that with the greatest respect. Their music and lyrics cut into and slice through you; the sound that drives talent and creativity. And there are few singers like Gerry who can carry the tension of being deliriously free while pacing and snarling like a caged animal – this time with the added sweet-and-silky pleasure of Sabrina (The Applicators) joining in on vocals.
Later, fuckers. -- dani helle

Shit photo by larry sternShit/00 Spies

Shit. Goddamn. Get off your ass and slam. This here bad-ass band from San Antonio is called SHIT. And their singer’s name is BEER. The band was ready to start, but they needed Beer. “Where’s Beer?” they called out. Beer was in the can.
Beer got on stage and rocked like the long-haired beerbarian he is. He dumped beer on his head while he rocked out. Maybe that’s why he is known as Beer. Most likely, there is no other station in life suitable for this ruffian than singing in a loud rock band and dumping beer on his head.
I’ve been seeing a lot of Beer. A couple nights later at the Backroom, at the Cannibal Corpse show, there was Beer at the bar. Beer is everywhere. Beer is great. I love Beer! Oh and the band - Shit, they were all great, but I think Beer makes Shit.
Double Naught Spies served up the usual box of high-energy straightforward garage-punk popsicles. Their crazy chick drummer with that hilarious prissy-librarian-gone-wild look… dude, the way she flails around like that hot-tub sex scene in Showgirls, it’s a miracle she makes contact with a drum head. The more she wiggles, the more we giggle. She was bippin’ and boppin’ all over the place, even at the expense of the beat, but who cares? We don’t come here to put on the pro-gear musician evil eye. Beerland is about having fun letting your gut hang out and grabbing some hot punk rocker’s butt. -Bek Sabbath
the Crackpipes phot o by larry sternCrackpipes
2/19/04

The show at Beerland on Thursday night celebrated Ben Webster's birthday, while the proceeds went to Casa Amiga, a rape-crisis shelter in Juarez, Mexico.
The show started with Walter Daniels and Wade Driver. They had a very dark, Texas sound. It was Southern free jazz with a trumpet, sax and a wailing harmonica. I swore I heard a slide whistle, too. It was very entertaining albeit difficult listening to a set that had only one song with vocals and structure. But, I suppose that’s what jazz style is all about.
Sea of Thousand quickly started, sharply contrasting the first act. The singer never stood on stage but mingled with the crowd in true punk style. I love this band. They go from sludge rock to atonal to hardcore in a matter of a few measures. They keep it interesting to say the least. I’ve seen them before and I always get a very ominous feeling when I hear them. It’s like they the Crackpipes phot o by larry sternplay the music that marches us all to our doom and they’re laughing the whole way.
The Crack Pipes came recommended to me by Waterloo employee Paul Vetter. The singer sounded like a hybrid between Bonn Scott and Brian Johnson. He stood in front of the speaker, creating lots of annoying and distracting feedback. The Crack Pipes would play a riff over and over in a motorific style and adjusted the volume for effect. You couldn’t help but nod along to this party music. They captured the 70’s rock sound with classic guitar riffs and three-chord progressions changing to a higher key then back again. It created familiarity. So familiar, in fact, that it got tiresome. Although the music was performed well, I didn’t care for it, no matter how many Waterloo employees like them.
The last act, The Nervous Exits, was the surprise band of the evening. They showed up 45 minutes after The Crack Pipes ended. This was their second show of the evening so their tardiness was easily forgiven. They sounded like the Stones with a defining punk edge. Unison background screams will do that. The music had a stripped-down garage band feel with great energy. There were no frills, just rock. Overall, the show was enjoyable and eclectic with music ranging from jazz to progressive hardcore to neo-classic rock. –Vernon Effenberger

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