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EATING OUT AS A WAY OF LIFE
DISHES COMPATIBLE WITH THE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE

Popeye’s Famous New Orleans Fried Chicken
Oltorf and S 1st Street

Sometimes, you get “Pye-Pye’s” on the brain. Ramen Noodles are not fucking cutting it. Culinary reality is becoming bland and stagnant - I need some food catharsis. Here’s something that only my mom knows about, and probably only dimly aware of. One night I was on acid trip, I hitchhiked with total strangers 120 miles in 1.22 hours, and then couldn’t find the new house I was living in. Tripping like crazy. My mom always looked like a turtle to me when I was tripping around her. So a turtle comes out of my mother’s bedroom and says “I left you some chicken in the oven.” and goes back in the room. I apprehensively opened the oven and peered inside. Sure enough, there’s some dissected Birdus Yardicus coated with wallpaper paste and rubbed with motor oil, and submitted to the hideous heat of Satan’s Anus. I wondered what Timothy Leary said about the red beans and rice and their primordial ooze of galactic spice permeating every molecule in my organism.... or the extra-quantum reality tunnels that must be always reconnected by the self replicating machine elves to create the buttery universe known as a biscuit...

At 3:33 a.m., under UV light, I’m peeling of the layers of intense flavor until greasy gnawed bones remain, just like life. Bits of gristle to remind of the things that are not to be chewed on. Just like life. Auguring for that eternal tomorrow with the small rib-bones under that separable trapezoid of breast meat. I realize that that famous Cajun flavor provides a distinct, discernable, and holy presence within the very chicken pieces. The precise ratio of cayenne pepper to garlic is the golden mean, and the neurotroxic trigger that has remained imprinted within the circuits of my rapidly stiffening nervous system. So anytime I want to remember home and my Mommy, or if I just want to experience a fairly intense LSD flashback, all I have to do is hop a bus, and in a few minutes I’m transported through space and time by the spice. Love that chicken from Arrakis, E-eye-E-eye-ooh.

–Partially Nude Food Dude From Rank and Revue.

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