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 Soundtrack:
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Bulletproof/Nitrus Records
I haven’t seen the new recreation of the 1974 Texas-filmed
cult classic, but if it’s anything like the soundtrack
I’d probably leave the theater during the film or press
eject on the VCR with the quickness (no I haven’t graduated
to the over-hyped DVD).
Chock-full of bland death metal, mediocre hardcore and bits
of industrial fill-ins, this particular score serves it’s
purpose as the back-ground music for slaughterhouse murders
enjoyed by knuckle-head horror geeks and meathead teenagers
alike. Yep, everyone from grindcore/sludge-metal favorites
Pantera to the not-so-frightening pop trash of Seether made
the roster. Highlights include Fear Factory’s remix
to the electro-refreshment Archetype, a much-needed change
of pace from the rest of the recording. Gloom and evil are
truly captured on Morbid Angel’s Enshrined By Grace,
which accurately lays the groundwork for a fitting anthem
to the gore-spattered visions of anxious black and death metal
fans. Meshuggah don’t disappoint either—their
molten brand of metallic speed combined with a lofty rhythm
section shine supreme on 43.
However, the truth remains that as a whole, the soundtrack
plays like a watered down mesh of fun/happy nu-metal bands
trying to sound malevolent and deadly. I truly must stress
the word trying. The vocals and terrible lyrics are what usually
ruin it for the majority of the eighteen or so bands featured
here. Please don’t waste your time checking out the
new Static X album. Mushroomhead, Lamb of God, Nothingface—nah,
I’m not really feeling those blood curdling bands either.
Listening to this record was like staring in the flick myself.
I was the young kid being chased and annoyed by sappy rock
bands looking to saw me up into tiny bits with their less-than-savvy
sounds. Help!
-Smitty-
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 Slow
Poisoners www.slowpoisoners.com
Days of the Soft Break
Heyday Records
The press release calls the Slow Poisoners “accessible
but off-kilter”. Sure, I’ll buy that. Conceived
by San Franciscan Andrew Poisoner, the band takes the best
of early Tyrannosaurus Rex (pre-Glam, mind you), Lee Hazelwood
(ya know, Nancy Sinatra’s long-standing partner in song),
XTC and the more melodic moments of the Olivia Tremor Control,
slap the various elements together in perfect little 3-minute
packages with the ardor of demented fanatics.
The production is lush, reminiscent of Phil Spector’s
“wall of sound”. Luxuriant string fills and horn
lines worthy of Tijuana Brass intermingle with pedal steel
guitar, harpsichords and a grand piano like gumbo and rice:
tasty and just a little exotic. Sounds like the perfect late
60’s hit machine, right? Read the song titles, chum.
Sad Angel Symphony; Chain of Flowers; The God that Failed
and, my favorite, Mama, Don’t Leave Me Lyin’ Here
Bleeding on the Floor all reveal the quirky, twisted under-workings
of this, at first listen, ostensibly hippie band. And you
think the song titles are funny? Man, you gotta hear this
record. At one point, I laughed so hard that beer shot out
of my nose and soaked my cat ten feet away. To be fair, Andrew
Poisoner’s ridiculously comical voice had a lot to do
with it. It’s sorta high, sorta whiny with a fake (?)
British nasal inflection. I picture him as maybe a tall, skinny
guy with thick glasses and perpetual bedhead.
They’re playing in early December with Attic Ted (a
more perfect match has not occurred in many moons). It will
be interesting to see how these songs translate live.
-Trevor
Wallace |
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 Shelby
Lynne
Identity Crisis
Capitol Records (2003)
Identity
Crisis is a perfect title for the work of a woman who has
had just as many sounds as she’s had hairstyles. As
long as I can remember, Shelby Lynne has been singing country
music. With such a beautiful voice, she can sing whatever
she wants, but she won my heart with her performance of “Angel
Flying Too Close to the Ground” with Willie Nelson on
his 70th birthday album, Live & Kickin’. Then my
mom introduced me to I Am Shelby Lynne which featured two
Sheryl Crow-like songs and not a lot of country. Have you
seen the Shelby Lynne video were she plays a flying V guitar
and her band mates ride around on foot propelled scooters
in orange prison jumpsuits?
Miss
Lynne is having an identity crisis because she’s a freaking
rock star not a country belle only for the eyes of the Grand
Ole Opry. She’s crossed over folks, and she’s
taking rock ‘n’ roll hostages. “Buttons
and Beaus” may be the only hook in this body of work
for the most die hard rockers. “Your mama’s a
whore, your daddy’s dead…Your Mama’s a gold
digger, for money she’ll spread her sticky fingers all
over his bed.” Somebody’s mama has pissed this
lady off. You might also like “10 Rocks” a gospel-sounding
ditty with demons. Are you into Chris Isaak? “I’m
Alive” or “Gotta Be Better” may be more
your style, and if you worked in a fountain in the back of
an old-fashion drugstore in high school, you are gonna love
the Patsy Cline-style crooning of “Lonesome.”
I have to skip over a few of the heartbreakers, “I Don’t
Think So” and “If I Were Smart,” because
they are just too sad! Alright, so I am hooked on “Baby”
and “One with the Sun,” inspired by my main man,
Willie Nelson.
Maybe Shelby Lynne won’t bring your rock ‘n’
roll-only ass across the tracks with this album, but she’ll
win you over in a poker game at the World Series singing the
national anthem. Or you’ll see her on a random show
with her flying V, and you’ll give in. So, just submit
now. She’s coming to get you and your mama, and it might
not hurt to lock up your papa, too. If an identity crisis
is wrong, I don’t want Shelby Lynne to be right. Find
out about Shelby Lynne recording her album analog style at
www.shelbylynne.com.
Thanks for the signed CD Miss Missy!
-Beth
Sams
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