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Austin's
Sex In The City
We're fucked. What do you want me to say? This last weekend
was a study in human sexual behavior. Things began on Wednesday
night, as it turns out. I would have sworn it was a Friday,
but apparently EL MATADOR'S "Liquid Wednesday's"
(Translation Wet T-Shirt Night) are officialy putting the
HUMP in humpday. Headed towards some of the more conventional
bars on Red River, I couldn't help but notice the "Wet
T-Shirt Contest" sign out in front of EL MATADOR. I immediately
called up Shutter Bug and Willy to see if they could get a
camera down to the joint. Of course they could. So, I went
and announced to the establishment that I wanted to cover
the event for Rank and Review. Joe, the doorman was hesitant
to let me do so without some kind of legal release, so I called
Willy and Shutter Bug back and told them to start typing.
The two arrive with cameras and waivers in hand, and the debauchery
began. The wet T-Shirt contest went just the way I like them;
All wet and no T-Shirt. The next night, let's just say some
girl went apeshit at the 710. Shit got so bad, you'll have
to just ask
someome who was there, or forever remain in the dark. Let's
just say that I could have sworn I saw Jodi Foster laying
on a pinball machine at one point, and 710 doesn't even have
a pinball machine. For the more suave and and faint at heart,
I would also like to point out some of the recent goings on
at Headhunters. I had the pleasure of watching the belly dancing
skills of Elena Klara one night, and was then able to return
the next evening for what I like to call "Painted-On
Titty Night." POTN feature's Headhunter's bartendresses
(reportedly the finest on Red River), serving drinks completely
topless, save for the body paint and leis seperating man from
bust.
TEXT: SEYMOUR TEATSE
PHOTOS : SHUTTERBUG
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