Remember the Movies

Do you know Jack? Do you pursue trivial things? Do you think you're prepared for MONDO TRIVIA? Take your time. Don't answer until you're sure that you've got it right. Mondo Trivia isn't easy. Mondo Trivia isn't just some guy reading questions off of a card at your local pub. Mondo Trivia is even better than playing NTN at the bowling alley.

Mondo Trivia is the best damned trivia show ever. Period. We'll have questions that make you laugh, questions that make you think, questions about sports, questions about celebrities, and questions that are completely unanswerable. Mondo Trivia is more than just questions, though.

Mondo Trivia also will have video segments that'll have you guessing what the outcome of various stunts will be. Picture two kids standing in a peaceful suburban cul-de-sac, each holding a baseball bat. When we start pitching balls to these two adorable children, will you have the skills necessary to figure out which kid will break a neighbor's window first? Will you be able to tell us which neighbor's house will be the unlucky one?

We'll be using audio and video clues, too, of course. The Alamo is a multi-media kind of venue, you know. How many seconds of music would you have to hear before you could identify Milli Vanilli's hit, Girl, You Know It's True? For bonus points, would you be able to tell us who actually wrote the song?

Jacques Boyreau, USA 2003 DVD Running Time:90 min. Sci-fi fans are a very special breed of people. They hoard their copies of Kamandi: The Last Boy on Earth with a certain endearing shame, and get caught up in seemingly incoherent conversations about Rudy Rucker and the Fourth Dimension with their sci-fi brethren. But beneath the veneer of geek is almost always the obligatory chic whose vision is as far-reaching as its fashion sense (Star Trek was, after all, the first national show to star a black chick in a miniskirt). Fashion and design are one of sci-fi's most accessible and universallyappreciated qualities; from the future-cities of Metropolis and Just Imagine to the slick costuming of Planet of the Vampires and Flash Gordon, sci-fi is consistently the perfect amalgamation
of style and substance. Not only that, but sci-fi reeks of sex. And nowhere is this more shamelessly apparent than in Jacques Boyreau'slow-budget sci-fi extravaganza, Candy Von Dewd. Candy Von Dewd takes place in a barren future where 'Rocket Leroy' expeditions are sent out into space armed with the experimental potency drug Vakuta-16 to seek out 'seedable' life forms (which leads to quite a bit of intergalactic frolicking and all the multicolored latex that entails). The film carries influences from science fiction films of the '50s through '70's, but has a certain 'beat' sensibility that sets it apart from the established canon of sci-fi homages/parodies. In musical terms -- and the film moves along at a lysergic musical pace -- it's like Scott Walker and Serge Gainsbourg collaborating on John Carpenter's Dark Star. Brimming with sexual energy and boasting the incredibly creative deployment of its admittedly modest budget, Candy Von Dewd marks a return to the kind of exploitation films that matter. (Kier-La Janisse)

For as long as there have been movies, there have been people dying in movies. Thanks to the magic of film, we've been desensitized to all sorts of orrendously violent acts: dismemberment, decapitation, asphyxiation, shots through the heart, hangings, flayings, being drawn and quartered, drowning, having a still beating heart ripped out of the chest of some unlucky adventurer, and that's just to name a few. To celebrate all of this psychotic behavior, the Alamo Drafthouse decided to put our heads together to compile the definitive list of the best kills that have ever been put on screen and then put those clips up on the screen again, back to back to back to bloody back. If you haven't been desensitized yet, this program will take care of that; we're gonna do for violence what Showgirls did for breasts. We won't bog you down with plots or characters or set ups or anything like that; we're only delivering the pay offs. What makes a kill worthy of being included in our list? Lots of things. Some kills made it on because they're funny to watch. Others were just amazingly inventive. Still others are simply the kinds of images that linger in the back of our nightmares. You'll see shocking kills, heart-breaking kills, wacky kills, graphic kills, understated kills, beautiful kills, vintage kills, and every other freaking kind of kill you can imagine.


Who Flung Poo is an eccentric artist who collects homeless people's fecal matter at the campgrounds and turns them into watercolors. He only paints chicken pot pies and he likes to run around town in a gorilla mask. His wife Gloria is a sex-shop employee who cheats on him with his parole officer Cha Wee Wee. Gloria talks Who Flung POo into putting his painting career on hold to get her pregnant so that she can star in pregnant porn films. So with the help of an old porn director in Who Flung Poo's narcotics anonymous class, they set off to rule the world of pregnant porn.

It's big screen reality, baby, and you aren't ready for it! The Alamo Drafthouse is teaming up with KNVA, Austin's WB affiliate, to bring you the greatest thing to happen to dating shows since Rodger Lodge. CHEMISTRY 101: HOOKING UP IN THE NEW MILLENIUM is part game show, part reality dating show, and your chance to fall in love (or at least make out) on camera. Every month, we're going to take 3 people out on an allexpense paid date, follow them around with video cameras, and then bring the daters into the theater for a live 'moment of truth' where one of the three will be told they're going home alone. Every month, you'll get to watch a series of profile tapes and you'll get to decide who's going out on the next date. And every month, you'll get to test your wits against our dating experts in the Hook Up Final Exam. Think you can spot a virgin in a crowd? Can you guess which pick up line will prove to be the most successful? Don't worry, they'll all be multiple choice questions, and we'll be providing the number 2 pencils for your scantron. At the end of the night, if you end up with the highest grade in the theater, you'll be going on the next date with whoever the audience decides to send you out with! It's like the trashiest late-night TV show you can think of, except we don't have censors breathing down our necks, so you'll get to see ALL the too-hot-for-TV action! The girls going wild! The guys getting crazy! Even the cameramen! That's right, in the Alamo's version of blind dating shows, you'll see everything. And you just might be responsible for helping two people find each other and fall in love.

We're already looking for profile tapes of anyone who wants to go out on one of our fabulous free dates, too! If you think you've got what it takes to find love on camera, all you have to do is bring a VHS profile tape in that tells us all about yourself in 2 minutes or less. Do you enjoy long walks on the beach? Tell us all about it! You could win the chance to go on a blind date, and that'll be an experience you never forget! Go out, film yourself talking about yourself, and drop your profile tape off with one of the managers at the Alamo Downtown any weekday between 1 and 6 pm. Make sure you give us all your contact information on the tape, as well, including your full name, phone number, and email address. Otherwise we won't know how to get in touch with you, see.

Based in Vancouver Canada, Cinemuerte is a unique international festival of horror and supernatural films, organized with no budget and relentless energy by maverick horror freak Kier- La Janisse (the Alamo's new programmer). With world premieres, renowned guests such as Jean Rollin and Udo Kier, and the most bizarre unseen gems from the last 30+years, Cinemuerte's mind-bending (and genre-bending) programming
and presentation have consistently outshone any independent film festival in recent Canadian history. After five successful years, Janisse brings the best of the best to The Alamo with seven films guaranteed to corrupt your mind assault your senses!

THE CHELSEA GIRLS Andy Warhol, USA 1966, 16mm, b/w & color, Running Time: 210 min.

The Chelsea Girls, Warhol's first major commercial success catapulted many of the participants into superstardom - Ondine, Nico, International Velvet (Susan Bottomly), Brigid Berlin and Mary Woronov. The Chelsea Girls is made up of various scenes shot at the Chelsea Hotel, the Factory and at various apartments including Velvet Underground's apartment on West 3rd Street in the Village.


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