Live Fast, Love Hard, Lick Toilets
Not sure why it’s taken me so long to write this review. Maybe it’s because secretly I’ve wanted to hold onto it. It’s probably more because I lost it and up until a few weeks ago swore up and down to Wendy that I had already given it back to her.
So I found it.
To start this whole thing off without mentioning the cd cover would probably be an insult to whoever came up with this uhm…artistic vision..?
Clearly shot in someone’s bathroom, the props in absolutely no particular order are:
Glass of cum
Bottles of booze
It is entirely up to you to figure out how they’re being used. I probably would have bought this cd just from the cover alone, but luckily didn’t have to because one of these dudes accosted WWAD at a gas station and handed it over.
This is what I thought of when I heard this cd right off the bat: Meatmen, Deadhorse, Wermacht.
Then when I started getting into it a little more GG. Allin came through loud and clear. Not a big surprise to find out that they had covered ‘I’m Gonna Rape You,’ and ‘Hard Candy Cock.’ I was pretty impressed. It’s hard to step UP to a disgusting fucking scumbag (R.I.P. G.G.), so I was pleased.
Some of these song titles were just great and appealed to my inner child. “I Fucked Your Wife,” “Dick Milk,” and “Scream about it, Cream About It.”
You get the idea. Oh hell. I’m not going to lie. It totally appealed to my old lady self too.
A sample of some of the top drawer lyrics: “The Stalker:” “I’ll bet you’re good in bed/I’ll bet you give good head.”
“I Fucked Your Wife:” “She’s a Tramp/likes to fuck /I can’t believe how many dicks she’s sucked.” Gold.
This is a two piece outfit consisting of Solid Briscoe who not only is on deck as the drummer and vocalist, but is apparently in control of the dick milk duties as well.
Sloane Stone the guitarist is also listed as taking on the responsibilities of used tampons.
Haven’t seen these guys listed too much in the Chronicle (go figure) but I just happened to wander by Headhunters one night when they were playing. I don’t know if they brought the semi-nude girls with them, or if it was TaTa Tuesday, but I was on a mission to somewhere else and had only a second to check it out. I’m going on the record as saying that these guys could be a seriously legit sleaze rock outfit if there were at least 7 more boobies and another box of tampons. Either at the show or at the recording studio. It makes no difference.
Most of these guys hail from the west desert of Utah. Yep. Growing up these boys were obviously drinking, fighting and fucking to the right music. It shows in their straight ahead rock n roll style that you would associate with AC-DC or Thin Lizzy back when those bands were still playin’ pubs and small halls. Their style is stripped down and bare, no gimmicks or pretension; yet it is polished, tight and well produced. The band has been jammin’ for 14 + years, and it shows. This record is a great example of how good a rock record can sound, even if it is self recorded, produced and mixed. Back in my day, we were lucky to get on a mixing board with more than 12 channels. But these boys have used their extensive experience playing everywhere from backyard parties to Sammy Hagar’s cantina in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. If they did play Cabo, these guys probably had the sense/talent to bust out a Montrose or Sammy Hagar song (hopefully no Van Hagar songs, sorry Sammy).
This selftitled 10 song CD was recorded and released last year in 2011. These self -labeled gearheads bring some serious power to their original songs, and even send a nod to a couple of influential bands as well. The originals include “As Good As It Gets,” a Rose Tattoo style song with the same ‘boogie from the streets’ flow and rhythm. “Wizards Lament” is low, heavy and thick and reminds me of early Fu Manchu or Sleep; a total sit back and smoke one heshian session. “Smoke ‘Em While You Can” is a hot rod racetrack rally anthem about rockin’ the crowd. “Cut And Run” is their motto and war cry about one night stands. Or, as P-Funk would say: “Hit it and Quit It!” They cover “None of Your Business” by The Street Walkin’ Cheetas as well as “That’s Rock and Roll” by Blag Dahlia. They are both a great homage, I would even play their version of “That’s Rock And Roll” for my long-time friends in Blag Dahlia and the Dwarves! Look up these guys and check this record out. !!@##$% THIS ONE ROCKS. PLAY IT LOUD AND OFTEN!!!
A quick jaunt across the pond from France to Chappell Hill, NC lands us in Horseback’s territory. Like Abrahman and other versatile bands of the day, Horseback are not happy to play the one-trick pony card. Deeply influenced by their southern heritage as evidenced by the oft-twangy guitar sound, Horseback lay vocals worthy of the darkest Nordic black metal or Japanese noise mongers like KK Null on their more “traditional” tunes. If you can imagine, it’s like CCR meets Zeni Geva.
Then there’s the trilogy of songs sharing the title of Hallucigenia that make Horseback truly stand out from their contemporaries. Often owing more to 80s industrial soundscape artists like Einstürzende Neubauten and Throbbing Gristle, the songs are joyously painful to listen to and would undoubtedly be a perfect backdrop for a mind-blowing, soul-expanding psychedelic experience. Or the soundtrack to a truly disturbing performance art piece.
While still a little rough around the edges – this is their first full-length outing – Horseback show promise. It would be nice to hear something in the way of intelligible vocals, but somehow that might just detract from the eerie sounds they create. Either way, I highly recommend being on drugs for this one.
- Trevor J Wallace
Death by Metal
Audiophiles, skip this one like a pox-ridden corpse. It sounds like it was recorded in a basement using equipment antiquated even in 1984. Which it was. However, fans of death metal will find this compilation of tracks indispensable.
A short-lived band that pre-dated Chuck Schuldiner’s aptly named Death, Death by Metal is a piece of history and proves, once and for all, that death metal is not a Nordic phenomenon but was born and bred here in the good ol’ US of A, specifically Florida.
From start to finish, the record is a relentless, fast-paced dirge with appropriately placed high and whiny solos interspersed amongst a sludgy backdrop and demon-drenched vocals.
Not for the casual fan, but a must-have for completists.
- Trevor J Wallace
Spectrum of Death
Spawned during the 80s, the same era that brought forth Celtic Frost and Anthrax, Sheboygan, Wisconsin’s Morbid Saint paved the road for the hundreds of thrash metal bands to follow.
Spectrum of Death is a re-issue (with some new material) of the 1988 e.p. of the same name and flies along with breakneck speed, always on the verge of tripping up on itself without ever actually quite falling down. Just as the drums reach the brink of Mach 7 and the vessel threatens to fly apart, the songs slow down to re-gather themselves and then challenge the upper limits of speed once again.
Morbid Saint gained earlier prominence opening for Death, so it seems only fitting that Relapse would release both this and Mantas’ Death by Metal simultaneously. Unlike the Mantas album, however, this is a full-blown studio production and is just as valid today as the year it was released. This one’s for the mosher in all of us.
- Trevor J Wallace
Through the Dusty Path of Our Lives
Small Stone Records
Formerly known as Alcohsonic, the Parisian band Abrahma seems to have traded a heavy-drinking party boy image for one of a more spiritual bent. The band’s new moniker could be read as an anagram of Abraham, the father of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, but some of song titles indicate a more eastern influence, making the name a reflection of Brahma, the Hindu god of creation. On the other hand, “Loa’s Awakening” and “Vodun” parts 1-3 firmly root the band in voodoo territory.
Whatever the origin of the name, the band’s sound ranges from gloomy sludge to chorus-drenched watery passages serving as a backdrop for multi-vocal mantras and solo voices put through various effects to give them an other-worldly feel. Throughout, the drumming is heavy and ponderous and perfectly placed. The drummer knows when silence is more important than beating the shit out of the kit, giving Abrahma a dynamic quality sorely missing in many metal bands today.
Blending 70s heavy metal blues with, sludge, psychedelia, and studio wizardry into a brilliant nimbus of noise, Abrahma’s debut on Small Stone records is as auspicious as it could be and places Through the Dusty Paths of Our Lives on the path for front-runner as metal album of the year.
- Trevor J Wallace
Beer and Bones / CD / 2011
Goat Farm Records
Okay I get it! These guys are pullin’ from the best influences I can think of. They are also pullin’ from that bottle of Jim Beam. Hands down the best Kentucky whiskey a workin’ man can buy without sellin’ bodily fluids or robbin’ a bank. And this writer doesn’t want to hear about that Tennessee piss. Jim Fuckin’ Beam Dammit!!!! That’s what they’re pulling, but what they are pushin’ is the straight dope known as rock and roll. Real. Hard. Fast. Tight.. This four piece hails from Waco, Texas and if legend holds true they started it all back in 1993. Hmm, 1993. Waco, Texas. Wasn’t that the same year David Koresh and company told the U.S. government “If yer itchin fer I fight, TEXAS WILL SCRATCH THAT ITCH?!?!?!” With the same rage and hellfire The Hammercocks 2011 release BEER AND BONES bares its’ teeth. These cats have been spending the last (count ‘em) 19 years perfecting their recipe for their BEER AND BONES chili: Add heaping spoonfuls of Motorhead, a dash of Zeke, AntiSeen, and The Meatmen. A pinch of the Hookers and Hank III for flavor. Finish with some Buzzcrusher, Speedealer and Hit ’n’ Run from their Texas home garden. Season with Jim Beam to taste. MMMM! That’s good eatin’ and good rockin’. These ingredients create a concoction that is ALL HAMMERCOCKS, These guys rep the great state of Texas with the pride, ferocity and independence that fuel the reputation Texas so richly deserves. This 16 song offering says it all. This records starts hard, gets faster, stays locked down tight from start to finish. Mercifully, they even slow it down for a spell about halfway through. This record reminds me of why I call Texas home. In yer face with no apologies!! BEER AND BONES, GET IT OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!
— Justin Buzzcrusher—